For awhile now, I’ve been a follower of the hilarious tumblr, fuckthissceneshit. Recently, it’s been apparent that the scene disease has been on a rise lately, what with it being time for kids to go back to school. They of course, want to stand out this year and make something of themselves!

Using what knowledge I have gained from them, this is thus far what I have learned:

For scene kids, appearance is an absolute must. They may preach, “Don’t judge by looks!”, but when it comes down to it, if you don’t look like them, you’re just a “st00pid prep b1tch!!” to them.

Fried, damaged hair and dyed lots of colors is where it’s at. For girls, a lot of them like to add extensions of different colors, bows, hair clips, tiaras…anything that will attach to their hair, essentially.

Scene boys usually don’t have any accessories, but they should aim to have the sweeping “bieber hair”. You know the style, to where they have to constantly shake their head to flip their hair back out of their eyes every few moments.

Scene kids also seem to enjoy things that are Japanese. The most popular being Hello Kitty. Expect to see this lovable kitten all over their profiles. Even scene bands have wrote songs with this scene mascot all over.

It’s also not too uncommon for sceneyboppers to like Pokemon, despite most likely not ever playing any of the video games, nor probably not even being able to name any set of starter Pokemon in the francise. It is certainly one thing to be ignorant to Pokemon and not know a single thing, but to claim to “love” it, and not know anything? Get out!

Other common likes are cupcakes (SO RANDOM), automobiles (not like…car entuisastics, just so they can go “BEEP BEEP”), dinosaurs (similar to cars, not because they find them interesting, just so they can go “RAWRRRR!”), and some shitty diamond graphic which must be plastered all over their profile. Funny, considering the superficial undertones a diamond gives. In other words, if you are rich, they don’t want anything to do with you. If mommy and daddy can’t afford to dye your hair every week, don’t even bother.

Sexuality is an important deciding factor. It’s pretty much a 9/10 bet that a scene kid’s profile will label them as “bisexual”, “gay/les” or “pansexual”, despite the fact that they may not even truly be this way. Sure, teens are still young and trying to find out what they like, but most likely, a girl claiming to be “bi” would cringe at the thought of another girl hitting on them. Simply putting “straight”, is a bit too mainstream. And for scenesters, they would rather die than be mainstream!

Thus, with what I do know about the scene crowd, I’ve set out to delve deep right into the scene community. Scenekids.com, a breeding ground for these folk. So I’ve decided to hop on aboard. Meet Jeff Lynne, an older man with a like of getting to know this generation. And I must say, does he have some catching up to do, to learn all their likes and dislikes and what makes a scene kid “tick”.

While I will say I dislike having to use such an icon for this kind of business, given the uniqueness of these kids, most likely they would not know of this “Jeff Lynne” character. And, given their intelligence, I am pretty sure they don’t know how to use Google for anything else other than to search up Hello Kitty pictures.


“They’ll be none the wiser!”